The Seven Kids You Knew In Elementary School

Grades 1-5 were a strange but fun time in most of our lives. We were ignorant of all the responsibility we’d eventually have to take on once we got older, our parents did everything for us, and we got time set aside for us to just go outside and be kids.

In every chapter of our lives, though, we find ourselves surrounded by interesting characters. And there is no doubt in my mind that some of the most interesting ones are introduced to us when we’re like, eight. Maybe you knew them, maybe you WERE them. Either way, it’ll be nice to reminisce.


1. The Know-It-All

When+the+asshole+smart+kid+aces+a+test+and+everyone+_77ef6e079ece53907dfe39bf2226b355

There is always that kid who raised his or her hand literally every time the teacher stopped talking, either to answer a question or make a snarky correction.

That kid would start way too many sentences with “Actually…” and would ask you what you got on a test just to hear the unhappiness in your voice and follow it up with a “I got a hundred :)”

Some of those kids are adults now and haven’t really changed.

2. The Kid Who ALWAYS Cried

tebow

Sorry.

But seriously.

That one kid, boy or girl, who was always moved far enough to cry by everything. The quiz was too hard so they cried. One kid said “shut up,” not even to them, but it was aggressive so they cried. They weren’t picked first for soccer at recess so they cried.

I used to hate that kid because he/she always made things awkward. If you’re a teacher of small children, you have to tend to them. You can’t just ignore the crying kid. So time basically had to stop for all of us until they calmed down. Remember? We’d all just kind of sit or stand there in silence waiting for it to be over.

I don’t know if this happened to any of you, but for me I would sometimes be the kid next to the crier, and once he/she got going, they were still quiet enough so that I was the only person around who knew they were crying. So then I had to be that kid who goes and “gets help” because Tommy here was having trouble spelling a word and it stressed him out.

3. The One You “LIKE liked”

like like

This was hard then, and it’s hard now.

Being nine years old and having a cute little crush on a boy or girl in your class is all part of being a kid. It was so innocent, right? You just wanted them to smile at you, really. Maybe talk to you one on one. You might have a friend ask how they feel about you.

The boys might have been complete jerks to girls because they “liked” them, or at least that’s what our parents taught us, which in turn enforced rules of a patriarchal and abusive society where guys can be horrible to girls and get away with it because “it just means he likes you.”

noneofmybusiness

4. The “Double-Jointed” Kid

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Why.

We pretty much never asked those kids to show us what they could unnecessarily do with their limbs and phalanges. They just did it anyway. No chill.

“I’m double jointed, see?” *pops arm out of socket and continues to keep eye contact*

That’s absolutely horrifying, Kevin. Please go back to your seat.

5. The Kid Who Ran Like This:

Run-Like-Naruto

That was just comedy gold, to be honest. I really miss that kid.

6. The Girl Who REALLY Loves Horses

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She was always as sweet as can be. And didn’t even need you as long as she had her horse. Not much else mattered.

You may have gone to one of her birthday parties, and sure enough, it was horse themed.

Her notebooks and binders? Decked out with horse stickers.

So she was obsessed. Let her live. She’ll either grow out of it or become a champion equestrian.

Lastly,

7. The One Who Got Hot

neville

Puberty hit all of us, but it hit some harder than others.

I’m sure we’ve all come across a kid from grade school on Instagram or Facebook, and absolutely hated ourselves for not keeping in contact the whole time.

If you ARE the one who got hot, congratulations.

I’m 18 years old and I’m still waiting on the growth spurt. If I can get more than four hairs on my chin that’d be nice, too.


Honorable mentions:

  • The kid who had the kick-ass lunch. (Gushers, anything from Little Debbie, Fruit roll-ups with the tattoos, etc)
  • The kid who was like 6’8″ in the fourth grade
  • The kid who somehow read every book ever written by age 10
  • The kid who had a really bad temper and would even swing at the adults

I hope you enjoyed our quick look back.

Those characters hold a special place in our hearts, because they were our childhood. And they were real.

Remember,

we’re all human.

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